Question: Okay, here’s my thing….I’m everything that a man is supposed to want yet I’m nothing any man wants. I’ve been single going on 3 years now and its really starting to bug me. I’ve been on a few dates here and there but nothing ever comes of them. I’m tired of searching and I’m really getting tired of my family and friends hyping me up for my “future husband”. At this point I’m really thinking I should consider women. I’m totally NOT joking. I’ve noticed a few cute girls lately. At this age (31) I should not still be looking for a man. I think I really just needed to vent because I’m not sure how you can help me. Thanks anyway!
Signed, Forever Single
Answer: Dear Forever Single, I’m sorry that you are going through this. I know it won’t mean much when I tell you that a lot of women are in your position. 31 years young doesn’t make you old, however, I do understand the pressure of the “clock”. In most of the cases that I know of the “issue” is availability. Meaning, you live a structured life that doesn’t deviate much from your routine. To this I say, go out and experience life (not saying that you haven’t) but get out of your rut. I found an interesting app that seems to do this type of thing for you ( ). Most people tend to feel hurt by repeated rejections without recognizing that they have a pattern. The reality is most people can only tolerate a certain amount of closeness. Most people don’t necessarily want the love that they say they want. Is that the case for you? Being desperate will only lead you down a road to more loneliness. My general advice would be to make yourself naturally present! Not just on dates that you’ve secured but while out on the coffee run or grocery shopping. Get off dating apps and experience life first hand, not through a bio. Say hello to a cute stranger for no reason at all and keep it moving. Put on some heels and strut. Make you feel fantastic about you while catching the attention of interested parties. Remember, not everyone is worth a date and not everyone is going to approach you even if they do think you’re interesting. Maybe I can point you in the right direction…send me your picture and a bio LOL