Question: Okay, here’s my thing….I’m everything that a man is supposed to want yet I’m nothing any man wants. I’ve been single going on 3 years now and its really starting to bug me. I’ve been on a few dates here and there but nothing ever comes of them. I’m tired of searching and I’m really getting tired of my family and friends hyping me up for my “future husband”. At this point I’m really thinking I should consider women. I’m totally NOT joking. I’ve noticed a few cute girls lately. At this age (31) I should not still be looking for a man. I think I really just needed to vent because I’m not sure how you can help me. Thanks anyway!
Signed, Forever Single
Answer: Dear Forever Single, I’m sorry that you are going through this. I know it won’t mean much when I tell you that a lot of women are in your position. 31 years young doesn’t make you old, however, I do understand the pressure of the “clock”. In most of the cases that I know of the “issue” is availability. Meaning, you live a structured life that doesn’t deviate much from your routine. To this I say, go out and experience life (not saying that you haven’t) but get out of your rut. I found an interesting app that seems to do this type of thing for you ( ). Most people tend to feel hurt by repeated rejections without recognizing that they have a pattern. The reality is most people can only tolerate a certain amount of closeness. Most people don’t necessarily want the love that they say they want. Is that the case for you? Being desperate will only lead you down a road to more loneliness. My general advice would be to make yourself naturally present! Not just on dates that you’ve secured but while out on the coffee run or grocery shopping. Get off dating apps and experience life first hand, not through a bio. Say hello to a cute stranger for no reason at all and keep it moving. Put on some heels and strut. Make you feel fantastic about you while catching the attention of interested parties. Remember, not everyone is worth a date and not everyone is going to approach you even if they do think you’re interesting. Maybe I can point you in the right direction…send me your picture and a bio LOL
#RelationshipWednesday My girlfriend might be gay!
Question: This is so awkward. I’m crazy in love with my girlfriend and I’m thinking about a future with her. But lately, I’ve been noticing she only like lesbian porn and I swear my girlfriend likes looking at women more than men! (Not that I want her looking at other men) When we talk about past relationships she always says that her best relationships were always with women. When I ask if these “relationships” are of a sexual nature she says no she’s not a lesbian. She doesn’t like dresses but will wear them for me and when I met her she was (and still is) a tom boy. I don’t want to make the mistake of considering this girl for the long term and it turns out she likes women. How do I know if she really is gay though? Should I say something?
Answer: First things first, if it’s a serious relationship and you have genuine concerns talk with her. It sounds like you may be more curious about her bi-sexual side than she is. Women (most of us) have a natural appreciation for the human body…especially other women. Don’t be an jerk and ask for a threesome either ***insert eye roll here***. Just because she enjoys a little girl on girl action via porn doesn’t mean she wants that. It may just be the visual OR it could be that she wants you to pay attention to the technique so you can learn how to please her. Pay attention, learn and apply. Have a discussion with her. Tell her how much you love her and let her know that these things are bothering you to an extent. Then just ask her questions…instead of guessing…be up front. Ask her if she see a long term future with you. It could be anything or it could be nothing to worry about. It’s been said that communication is the key to all great relationships and yours in no different.
January 24, 2018
My Friend Throws Shade All The Time
Question:I’ve been friends with this girl for over 12 years. We’ve always gotten along and never really had any issues. In the last year she has picked up the habit of throwing shade at me every time she gets a chance. She puts down my clothes, my body, my house, you name it! For no reason. It’s to the point that my own mother is questioning why I’m still friends with her. I can’t think of anything that has drastically changed between us in the past year other than I moved into my first house (if that counts). Why does my friend try to bring me down all the time? What do you think I should do?
Answer:First let me say this, sometimes people grow apart. Sometimes there is not rhyme or reason to it and BAM it just happens! Second, she isn’t your friend and you should probably stop hanging out with her. If she asks you why you stopped talking to her, tell her the truth. Let her know that you are done putting up with her insults and you don’t need that in your life. IF she changes her behavior then by all means, forgive but don’t forget. Nip it in the bud! IF she gets defensive, then cut it short and cut ties. She may be holding you back from greater adventures and new relationships/friendships. Life is too short for that much negativity.